I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
