Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

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  (973): look no pants http://tfl.nu/j078
  Replies (4) Good night (1433) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.

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  (312): Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story. http://tfl.nu/ckvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (385)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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  (512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/piri
  Replies (27) Good night (816) Bad night (2934)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1779) Bad night (5064) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it

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  (215): at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it http://tfl.nu/asrx
  Replies (8) Good night (1633) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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  (859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94
  Replies (6) Good night (1996) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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  (701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn
  Replies (9) Good night (2085) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  (925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30
  Replies (7) Good night (1591) Bad night (360)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.

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  (315): Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline. http://tfl.nu/p7f8
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  (863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking

  (815): View more from Illinois

  the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ

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  (507): Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking (815): the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ http://tfl.nu/al4m
  Replies (5) Good night (1055) Bad night (229)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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  (712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!

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  (912): Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles. (404): STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!! http://tfl.nu/hvx1
  Replies (18) Good night (2744) Bad night (364)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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  (289): Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating. http://tfl.nu/q7ic
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (109)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

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  (503): Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk http://tfl.nu/l7fc
  Replies (9) Good night (467) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt

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