I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''