i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard