You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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