i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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