he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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