fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
