Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
