i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
