i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
