I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
