Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
