I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
