Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
