ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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