I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
