i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
