I heard we made out
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
