i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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