my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
