Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
