You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
