He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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