I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize