It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
