Having a random hookup so left but love u
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
