Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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