i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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