"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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