i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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