can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the condom got lost in my hair
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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