If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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