We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My feet surprised me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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