Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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