i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
