Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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