He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
