Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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