I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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