They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
