You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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