I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
