I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
