NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
