She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
