A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
