just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
