...so i touched it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
