is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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