I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
