***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
