I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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