Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He did a backflip because drugs
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
