yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
