I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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