I wanna bring you to show and tell
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
