Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
