I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
