hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
