so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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