But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
